Tell Me A Story
by Lady Edyleen
Summary: Alfred is weary, and all he wants to come home to is his girlfriend. See what a surprise he gets when he finds that Alice's been turned seven by her brother, and wants him to tell her a story.    USfem!UK, Fluffmonster.


Alfred came home weary. He'd spent the day trying to get his states to cooperate, and now what he needed to do was to go home and have a quiet night with his girlfriend.

He waited by the couch for minutes passing into hours, and eventually drifted off to a half-sleep with a newspaper in his hands. He would have lost complete consciousness when he jerked awake to the sound of keys hitting the countertop.

He turned his head. "I'm home," he heard.

He caught sight of the top of her blonde head, barely reaching the top of the counter. "What are you doing down there?" he asked.

"It's all I can reach," she sounded a bit off, but that was most likely because of her being on all fours. "Reach what, down there?" he stood up and rounded the counter, and looked down. Instead of finding his girlfriend on all fours, he found a little girl in twin pigtails, and green eyes looking at him sharply from behind glasses she held in place with a hand. She looked suspiciously like…

"A-Alice?"

She huffed, and folded her arms, letting go of her glasses, which started falling off. She cursed, which was funny for a little kid and resumed holding it up. "Yes, Alice. Arthur turned me seven."

He nodded, mouthing 'ahh', as if that explained everything, and really, it did.

"So he was here, huh. Guess I was so tired, I didn't hear his car pull over."

She gave him a strange look. "No car. Just me." She pushed past him without a problem, mostly because he was dazed and not because she barely reached his knees. His eyes widened as he turned around, barely even remembering to look down. "Arthur let you walk home? ALONE? A seven year old girl without, oh, I don't know, a BODYGUARD?"

She rolled her eyes. "I doubt he even noticed me, too busy trying to set up China's dragon with Nessie."

"Ness… look, whatever. But still."

"I'm home now, aren't I?"

He dispassionately arranged pillows and sheets on the couch. Being seven, she probably wouldn't let him anywhere _near_ the bed. Well, maybe she would, but it would still be awkward.

He sighed inwardly. Alice had gone to freshen up before going to bed. He'd have to call up Arthur in the morning about getting her back to her twenty year- old self.

Alfred settled down, putting his feet up, ready to sleep. He must have dozed off quickly, because he heard Alice's grownup voice in his mind, calling him. "Alfred. Alfred." He closed his eyes, hoping to dream. Then came the shrill, piercing scream that was decidedly _not_ grownup, even for England. "ALFRED!"

He opened his eyes and tumbled around in his makeshift bed. It wasn't a dream, she really was calling him, and he promptly fell off and hurriedly ran to their bedroom.

She was sitting up, wearing a pink flannel button-down shirt draped in blankets and surrounded by pillows. "You didn't come when I first called," she pointed out. "I know, I know, I uh… I thought I was dreaming."

She rolled her eyes, and put a finger on her throat, ready to talk. "You know, uh, you don't have to deepen your voice." He said this, closing the door, and then walking over and sitting down on the edge of her bed. She protested, but did as he bade. "I can't, I sound funny." She whined. He gave her a silly smile. "Huh. So what's wrong?"

She shifted restlessly. "I can't sleep." She folded her arms. Her glasses were now at the bedside table by the lamp. "Oh. Uh, do you want to eat something, then? Or watch tv? Do I leave the door open, or…?" She shook her head vigorously. "Ok, I'll just stay here then, until you fall asleep."

Alice looked up at him.

"C-could you… could you tell me a story?"

DANG.

"M-me? Tell you a story?"

"You heard me right," she muttered, a touch of defensiveness creeping into her voice.

"Well, I… well.. okay." He rubbed his arms together, grinning. She giggled and made room, and he got in bed next to her. She handed him a pillow, and he took it, smiling. "Alright. Once upon a time…"

"Wait." She pulled apart his arms and climbed into them, closed her eyes, hugged his huge arm with her small one and closed her eyes. "Okay, go." He looked down at her, looking absolutely adorable.

"Are you telling me a story, or not?"

"Oh, right, right." He drew her closer to him, settling down comfortably.

"Okay. Once upon a time, there was a boy."

"A boy?" "Yes. He had uh, blonde hair, blue eyes, and he loved hamburgers." She punched his arm. "Hey! It's the story, alright? It _tells_ itself. "Ugh. Go on."

"Well, he lived in a free place. Where everyone was free to do whatever was right for the people."

She tapped her surprisingly slender fingers on his arm, possibly in a threatening way. Her eyes were closed, but an eyebrow was slightly raised, and if he wanted to stay safe, he correctly interpreted this as a warning that she might hit him again.

"Well, one day, he went to this guy. Who he bought the hamburgers from."

"From whom he-" She opened one eye, and looked up at his face, which was looking back down at her with both eyebrows raised. She closed them again, clamped her mouth shut.

"His name was, uh, Bob."

She grit her teeth and ground them together. "Uh, no, wait, Charlie."

"Bob, Charlie?"

"Bob Charlie. Yeah, that's his name! Well, anyways, this guy-"  
>"Bob Charlie."<p>

"Bob Charlie, said that there was none. In fact, even the ingredients couldn't be found anywhere!"

"No cows?" She asked innocently.

"Of course there were cows, it was uh, a farming village." She sighed, which he didn't seem to notice.

"In fact, there weren't any hamburgers from there to the next four towns nearest to the village. None.

He loved them so much, and well obviously, so did a lot of other people did too, right? So he decided to, take it upon himself to find the missing hamburgers!"

She smiled at the ten dollar phrase. 'Take it upon himself' – sweet, really.

"Let me guess. He'll be the hero."

He gave her an affectionate (but platonic, and completely age-appropriate, it was almost brotherly, for goodness sake) kiss on her cheek and she snuggled closer to him.

"Yes. He journeyed for three days, and three nights, with his trusted cow named, ah, Matth… er, trusted cow named Matt."

She smacked him, and he had to laugh. "Ow!"  
>"Just get on with it." She muttered.<p>

"Well, he eventually got to this kingdom. Not so far from one of the four cities where Bob Charlie got his hamburgers from. It was called Finland-"

"Finland?"

"F-Fishland, er sorry, Fishland."

She exhaled, disbelievingly. "Alright, Fishland." She picked at his sleeve and let him continue.

"It was ruled by a solitary king. He was a strong and wise king, but he never let anyone close to him, and his one exception."

She yawned.

He looked down at her. "Hey, you're sleepy already?" She shook her head and burrowed deeper into his chest. "Finish the story."

"His one exception was his beloved sister, Ali.. Ali."

She nodded. Guess she was that sleepy – usually, she wouldn't have missed a chance to see him complimenting her brother.

"He loved his sister, and so did anyone who met her, except at one time he offended a witch on a matter concerning the welfare of his sub- er, people."

"Subjects?" she muttered, in a questioning tone of voice. Ha, apparently not that sleepy.

"Like I said, he was a good leader. He knew that he had a responsibility, and knew that serving his people meant as much as him serving them."

He turned pink, slightly coughing. He replaced the arm he had around her and covered his mouth to cough. She just yawned again and waited, which he appreciated.

"Well this witch was out for blood. Her name was Nata…Nata."

"Nata…?"  
>"You know, like in nata de coco. Let me finish." She shrugged.<p>

"Well, she conjured a spell that sent the princess in a deep sleep, and no one knew how to wake her up.

He arrived, and it turned out that there was a passing merchant who, uh, dealt in frogs. He told the king, in exchange for his sister's hand in marriage, that the answer was hamburgers – a lot of them. In a desperate attempt, the king had ordered all the hamburgers in his kingdom and beyond to be brought to him."

She crinkled her nose, making a face. "Frogs. Can't trust 'em." She mumbled.

"Well, he went to the castle to try to plead with the king. On his first try, he was not granted audience with the king, and so one day he found a window with a trellis, which he decided to climb.

Once he entered the window, he found the king's sister, who was a very beautiful girl, asleep in her bed, surrounded in red roses. She wore a pink gown, and he immediately fell in love with her."

She smiled. "That was Ali?"

"That was Ali." He nodded, resting his chin on her head.

"He sat down, and couldn't stop himself from talking to her. He sat by her bedside, and talked to her, until it was dark. He excused himself, even though she was under a spell, and therefore couldn't reply. He returned the next day, after being denied an audience with the king. He returned the the next ten days, doing the same thing.

The glitch was that no one had ever known about him climbing up that trellis. On the twentieth day that he came, the king, desperate, called for the merchant. It was just when the merchant had arrived, that our hero also came to ask for an audience.

'I will give her hand in marriage to whoever wakes her up.' He announced."

"Blech." Alice suddenly interrupted.

"Huh?"  
>"I'd rather die than have to do that. Rather stay asleep. Can't he see that?"<p>

"Well, he was too clouded, he loved her so much he couldn't think straight."

"Hmph. Ok."

"The frog merchant spoke confidently, saying that he would only offer his antidote, if he was guaranteed the marriage. He was so desperate he would have agreed, when our hero spoke up. 'I know what to do to help her.' The Frenchman-"

"So the frog merchant WAS French!" She triumphantly called out.

"The frog man," he ground out. "The frog man mocked him, asking him what such a young man could do to help royalty, especially one coming from a farming village.

He challenged the merchant, by asking him how he would propose to have cured the princess. The fre-frog, man, gave an excuse, explaining how he could not say. The King, never having liked the merchant in the first place, turned to our hero. 'What can you do for her?' he asked.

Our hero thought for a long time, a very long time that the King wanted to interrupt, but finally our hero answered with a foolproof answer – 'true love's kiss is stronger than any other magic.'

As if mesmerized with the force of his realization, he walked over to her bedside and bent down. The King was amazed at this young man's bravery, he stood aside. Our hero kissed her, and she opened her eyes."

"What happened next?"

He had thought her to be asleep, but it turned out that she wasn't.

"She woke up, and sat up, and looked at her new savior. She looked in his eyes, at the King, and glared at the French frog man _so_ intensely, he ran away. She looked back at her hero. 'I want to marry him,' she announced. 'Well, I doubt that you are in a position to make demands here. Please, how should we reward you?' Well, our hero was mesmerized at her beauty, and couldn't speak or look away from her face. She spoke for him. 'He can have all those stinking hamburgers you bought at the advice of that idiot. He likes them.' At this, he shook his head, coming to. 'How did you know I liked them?' 'You've mentioned them enough in your comings and goings. You said so yourself.' She stood up and brought him by the collar to her brother, and commanded her brother that they be married. It was a happy ending, they got married and became prince and princess of Fishland."

He looked down at her, waiting for a comment.

She was asleep.

He woke up, sunlight streaming in from the blinds. Alice stirred beside him, and he was surprised – she wasn't small anymore. She was normal, twenty year old self, in his arms.

He smiled and drew her closer. She opened her eyes at him, and placed a hand on his cheek. "You tell a nice story." He grinned. "Thank you. You're… not seven…"

"Why, are you disappointed?" She teased, kissing him. He willingly let himself be laid on his back. "Well. A little." She smiled. "It was a Cinderella charm. All ready to turn back at the strike of twelve."

"At the strike of twelve, you say?" he looked at the sunlight. "Do you have work today?" She asked, looking in his eyes.

"I, uh…" He found his gaze unable to move from hers.

"You know what? No." He held her closer and kissed her deeply – he had the rest of the day with her after all.

**Well, happy ending. The Cinderella bit is a story for another time. Alfred, or Alice, does not belong to me, neither does Hetalia, from whom these characters were based from. I hope you enjoyed it I do requests, don't hesitate to ask, please, even. Good night! Thank you for reading! Lady Edie, out.**


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